So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
