I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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