i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
