I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
