can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
