do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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