i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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