remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
