so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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