Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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