Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
