And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We had to coat check the pizza.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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