i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
