he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry about my life...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
