he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
