just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize