You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
