i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's the barista slut.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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