you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
