Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my liver is dry heaving
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
