"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
as a side note pls kill me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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