I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize