But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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