That's when you crack a 10am beer
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
