oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
