Umm I'm too high to move.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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