I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
