is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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