Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
