Sry I called you an 8
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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