that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
