i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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