i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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