I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
