I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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