Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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