I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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