He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
