Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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