wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
