Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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