Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
