so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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