Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
