The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
