nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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