That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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