No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
