He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
