we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
either way he was missing a nipple.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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