yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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