Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
did you just send me my own nude
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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