covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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