He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
