It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
