The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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